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ExR: Arrogance Part 5 FW pg 93-104

The first thing that drew my eye was trying to figure out what Wen Ning is wearing in this scene. He’s described as wearing a 袍 hou, which is noted as 丈の長い上着 “an outer garment with a long length.” And in my brief half hour of research, I think I might be dealing with a false cognate here. Hou from my research on wikipedia and kotobank, are very specifically a type of outer garment generally warn by ancient nobility and some military officers as far back as the Nara period (710-794 CE). See item B below (reposted diagram of a 束帯Sokutai from Wikipedia. The hou is only a piece of the full getup.) They all have round collars. Many of them have raw edges in certain places where you would expect seams. Some of them also have an extra large decorative lower hem (this example does not).

Meanwhile Chinese 袍服 pao2fu2 does not point at a single garment (“generic robe”) so much as a category of garments with a particular style of construction: the whole thing is cut out of one piece of fabric (if I’m reading this correctly??). This garment style goes back as far as the Zhou Dynasty (1046 BC – 256 BC). The round collar isn’t standard on the Chinese side the way it is on the Japanese side. Just based on the images it looks like a cross collar would be more common (which makes sense if you’re trying to minimize seams). Based on this discrepancy, I’m curious what novel-only Japanese fans would draw Wen Ning wearing. If only I had a twitter…

Fun trivia: The Japanese “kimono” is based on an 8th century CE style of pao2fu2.

Then again, as ExR states in their note about Jiang Cheng’s clothing—people draw him wearing whatever so don’t worry about it too much.

As I stated in Arrogance Part 4, I will be damned if I use “fierce corpse” for 凶屍 kyoushi and I refuse to use it. It just sounds dumb. I will not be doing a deep dive about the “fairies” in “fairies, beasts and evil spirits”, which FW translates as 妖獣と殺鬼 (“supernatural beasts and killer ghosts”).

Please allow me one dumb pun for WWX’s trashy flutestry—耳障り it’s ear-itating

Oyaji gyagu asside...

Now quotations. I swear I won’t be as long winded as last time.

One cultivator shouted at the top of his lungs, “Close in on him!” (ExR) 「奴を囲め！」と一人の修士が声を張り上げた。(FW pg 95) “Surround him [derogatory]!” one cultivator raised their voice.

Just a thought: 奴 yatsu could be any third person singular pronoun. “Surround him” is just as reasonable a conclusion as “Surround it”. I could envision the Cultivation World objectifying the poor guy after over a decade of our protagonist’s absence. “Close in on” is too verbose for a mob.

“Didn’t you bring signal firelights with you? Don’t you know to use them when you meet something like this? What are you pretending to be strong for? Scram over here!” (ExR) 「お前は信号弾を持っていなかったのか？あんな手強いモノが出てきたのになぜすぐに打ち上げない？無茶をするな、とっととこっちに来い！」(FW pg 97) “Didn’t you bring a signal flare? Why didn’t you use one when there was such a strong thing appeared? Don’t be so reckless, get your ass end over here right now!”

Ok, that’s embellished a little, but don’t tell me Jiang Cheng wouldn’t swear like that. “Scram over here” is just awkward. “Scram” is motion away from; “come here” is motion toward. This is contradictory.

In an instant, shock, disgust, anger, and disbelief all crossed Jiang Cheng’s face. (ExR) 一瞬にして、驚愕、憎悪、憤怒、そして信じられないという気持ちが胸の中で交錯し、混ざり合って江澄はきつく顔を顰める。(FW pg 98) In an instant, feelings of astonishment, abhorrence, indignation, and disbelief interlaced in his breast, blending together as Jiang Cheng severely scrunched his face.

Not saying ExR is wrong. Just that they could do better. If I really wanted to force the alliteration, I could go with “feelings of astonishment, abhorrence, anger, and apprehension”, or might need to think a little harder to find something else. I would prefer to use something a little stronger than “anger” for 憤怒 funnu, since 憤り ikidoori “resentment” came up a lot in the prior chapter, and I personally read it as foreshadowing for all the people who eventually got brutally murdered.

With an assured stroke, it was as if a rock had created thousands of waves in water. The sound of the zither had created countless ripples in the air, colliding with Zidian. The latter waned, and the former waxed. (ExR) Steadfast as he plucked the string, like a rock in a river rousing ripples, the sound undulated in the air. It clashed against the purple lightning, canceling the attack. (7S pg 111)

その指が弦を無造作に引くと、たった一つの石が千の波を引き起こすが如く琴の音は空気中にさざ波を無数に作り、紫電とぶつかり合って衝撃を相殺した。(FW pg 99) No sooner did his finger simply pluck the string, like a single stone bringing about a thousand waves, the sound of the koto made innumerable ripples through the air, colliding with Zuden and canceled out its impact.

Zidian=Zuden. ExR’s is the odd one out this time. I like 7S’s alliteration there.

With a slanting crack of his whip, Zidian slashed out with the semblance of a poisonous dragon, precisely landing on the center of his back! (ExR) He raised the whip and swung, and the purple lightning swam forth like a vicious dragon, striking him in the heart of his back! (7S pg 112)

…手を上げて鞭を斜めに振り下ろす。紫電はまるで毒龍の如く泳ぎ出し、ちょうど彼の背中に命中した。(FW pg 99) He raised his hand, and swung the whip down on a diagonal. Zuden swam forth just like a poisonous dragon, hitting him directly on the back.

Again, I like the Japanese best.

Lan WangJi, “…” Jiang Cheng, “…” He was both shocked and enraged… (ExR)

藍忘機は無言だった。江澄もしばし言葉を失っていたが、驚きのあまり急に怒鳴り声を上げた。(FW pg 100) Lan Wangji was silent. Jiang Cheng had also lost his words for a short while, but with great surprise he suddenly raised his voice in anger.

While there is a beauty to everyone saying “…”, there is better clarity making it a sentence.

In fact, the shout made Jiang Cheng, who cared about maintaining his reputation above anything else, unable to make another move. でないと紫電が虚名を博したことになる。面目を命と同じくらい大事にする江澄は、二度目を打つことはできなくなった。(FW pg 100) If he didn’t, he’d earn Zuden a false reputation. Jiang Cheng, who cherished face just as much as life, became unable to strike a second time.

hmm…

“In my opinion, he was probably bitter from being unable to cultivate using the correct method, he ventured off onto the wrong path.” (ExR)

ACCEPTABLE

“In my opinion, he was probably indignant at having failed in cultivating the orthodox path, and so he deviated. (7S pg 113)

ACCEPTABLE

私見ですが、おおかた彼は正道の修行に失敗し、腹いせに邪道に走ったのだと思われます。(FW pg 101) In my personal opinion, I think [humble] for the most part he failed at cultivating the orthodox path, so in retaliation he ran along the unorthodox path.

Don’t forget the passive can be used in active voice when you’re trying to be polite. “In my personal opinion, it is thought that…” is overly literal and a little nonsensical.

I’m translating the following two paragraph because there are 2 jukugo and 3 notes to trip over. Inline notes have been separated out.

Although he was infamous, people had to admit that, before the YiLing Patriarch Wei WuXian had betrayed the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, he was known for being a handsome young man and a refined cultivator skilled in the six arts. He ranked the fourth among all of the young masters in the cultivation world, being described as lively and cheerful. On the other hand, the ill-tempered Sect Leader Jiang ranked five, surpassed by him, so most people weren’t so bold as to mention the matter. Wei Ying was a frivolous and wanton person who loved to have tangled ties with pretty girls. Nobody knew how many female cultivators he had troubled with his charms, but it was yet unheard of that he was also attracted to men. (ExR)

そもそも、現在の評判は良くないとはいえ、夷陵老祖魏無羨がまだ雲夢江氏から離反する前、彼は美男子として広く知られていた。六芸を見事にこなす風雅な名士として、世家公子の風格容貌格づけても第四位だったことは認めざるを得ない。世間の人々は、彼のことを口々に「豊神俊朗」と称賛したーーだが気性の激しい江宗主は第五位で、魏無羨に負けていたので、余計に話を持ち出すのは憚れた。 魏嬰は軽佻浮薄で美しい女性と遊ぶことが何よりも大好きで、いったいどれほど多くの仙子たちがこの遊び人に泣かされてきたか知れない。だが、彼が男も好きだったという話は今まで誰も聞いたことがなかった。(FW pg 101-102) One could say that presently he didn’t have a good reputation to speak of in the first place, but before the Iryou Elder Wei Wuxian defected from the Unbou Jiang clan, he was known far and wide as a handsome man. As a refined personage who was splendidly accomplished in the six arts^1, one could not help but acknowledge him as ranking fourth among all the young masters of the cultivation world in terms of personality and appearance. The public unanimously admired him as beauteous and vivacious^2.–but Sect leader Jiang who had a viscous temperament ranked fifth, and because he lost to Wei Wuxian, was afraid of what others might think if he broached the subject too much. Wei Ying was frivolous and loved nothing more than playing with beautiful women, and it cannot be known just how many senshi^3 were made to cry by this playboy. But to this day no one had ever heard that he also liked men.

And those notes:

六芸：身分のある者に必要とされた技芸で、礼儀・音楽・弓術・馬術・書道・算術のこと Six arts: arts necessary for any person of social standing, i.e. etiquette, music, archery, equestrianism, calligraphy, arithmetic.

豊神俊朗：顔が美しく朗らかで生き生きとしていること Houshin shunrou: someone with a beautiful face, cheerful, and lively

仙子：仙門に所属し、仙術を修行する女性の敬称 Senshi: a title of honor given to women affiliated with the cultivation world and practice cultivation.

Cf. ExR’s notes via English Wikipedia: Rites, music, archery, charioteering, calligraphy, mathematics. Japanese Wikipedia says something different. With regard to the Six Arts, Japanese Wikipedia says:

六芸（りくげい、六藝）は、中国の古代において二つの異なる意味で使われた。一つは儒教の六つの経典で、六経ともいい、五経とほぼ同じ意味である。もう一つは周の時代に教えたとされる六つの技芸である。まれに「ろくげい」と読む。本項では後者について解説する。 Six Arts (rikugei) has two different definitions with regard to ancient China. The first is the six Confucian sacred texts, also called rikukei, and has about the same meaning as gokei (“the five classics”). The other is six arts taught during the Zhou dynasty. Rarely read “rokugei”. This article explains the latter.

Later in the article it swaps out 馬術 “equestrianism” for 馬車を操る術 “technique for manipulating a horse-drawn vehicle”. That sounds a lot more like “charioteering” to me. (If anyone else wants to get lost on Wikipedia, the reason there are five Confucian Classics instead of six is because the “Rites of Zhou” is considered apocryphal.)

Also throwing this out there, “whether a human or a god” is usually “human or buddha”, but I’m not going to argue too much here. God is an acceptable substitute for Buddha, considering the source culture is Buddhist influenced and the target culture is Christian influenced.

Ok 2 last things…

His face was emotionless. “Mark your words.” (ExR) “As you say,” he said expressionlessly. (7S pg. 117) しかし、藍忘機はその言葉を聞いて、無表情のまま体ごと魏無羨の方を向いた。 「言ったな」 (FW pg 104) However Lan Wangji heard what he said, and turned his whole body to face Wei Wuxian without expression. “You said it.”

What he says in Japanese is really just “say-[perfect aspect]”. Everything else is completely subjective to the translator and I my gut feeling is that Chinese is not that different in this particular case. You could translate this a dozen different ways and they’d all be correct.

HOW THE HECK DOES IT TAKE LAN WANGJI 104 PAGES TO USE A PERSONAL PRONOUN??????

Because you asked, it’s 私 watashi because he’s a very polite stick in the mud. And it’s even more obvious retrospectively that Lan Wangji had significant influence in Lan Sizhui’s life because he also uses the same pronoun. Everyone else is an 俺 ore. If you haven’t watched enough anime to know the semantic differences between those, I’m sure you can find it in like 3 clicks. I don’t have time to write that essay. If I did, I’d make a separate post and it’d probably be 20 pages about the semantics of gender and pronouns in Japanese and how much can change on a dime.

Ok that should do it for my tumblr backlog.